I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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