There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
