I cannot find my penis.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
