and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
