i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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