DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
