I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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