i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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