I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
