Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
