i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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