Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
