She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
