I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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