i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
