I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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