So drunk its hurt
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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