let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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