Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
smell my finger.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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