i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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