If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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