When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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