Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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