that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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