Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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