sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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