Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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