Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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