I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The Olympian is in my bed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
