Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
