Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
