So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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