zippers are such a cool invention
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
