dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
