We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
