i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
