Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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