its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
