i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
