the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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