I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
