hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
