We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
