That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im holly from the hills drunk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
