this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
