White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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