Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
