I'm gonna have a badass scar
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
