'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
