so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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