Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
