It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My vagina is very pro this idea
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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