Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
