But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
