Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I touched a dick in church today
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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